My NEXT BIG goal!

Well hello there everyone!  It has been way to long since I have posted anything...and it is definitely time to start back strong!  I saw that my last post was may 20th, which was one day after my final weigh in with the biggest loser!  Well I wanted to update everyone on how I was doing with my weight loss and my next goal!  Well I stayed going strong after the biggest loser ended!  I began Jamie Eason's Live fit trainer (which is amazing) and was going to the gym 5 days a week!  I got through phase one great and then the first week of phase 2 for some reason my husband and I decided I should get a job(don't ask me why we think this is a good idea) Luckily I only got a temporary position until Aug. 3rd, bc I am of coarse going to continue being a stay at home mother again after that!  Anyways it was super hard to fit in workouts...I had to wake up by 4:30 in order to go to the gym...which that happened I think twice!  Needless to say I started to get off track!  But I am back on track and in no way disappointed!  I have gained about 6 pounds back, but no inches or sizes!  I am so excited for what I have chosen as my next weight loss challenge to help me get closer to my goals!  Another thing that got me off track was the fact that Jonathan and I have been trying to get pregnant again!  I have been so caught up in that and the fact that I'm not pregnant yet that I feel like I put my weight loss to the side for some odd reason!  Not anymore!  I decided so that I wouldn't let it stress me out (not getting preg right away)  I was going to choose something to train for...which will help me get closer to my goal, get my mind off of getting pregnant, and then if in the process we get pregnant...who hoo!  I'm just not going to let it consume me as much as It was!  The Lord has a plan for us...and when and if it is time...I will be pregnant again:)  Anyways....at first i decided I was going to just train for another full marathon...the route 66 marathon in Tulsa on Nov. 18th, but instead I decided on 2 goals and the first one is on Sept. 22nd...it's the Redman triathlon!  I will be training for the Olympic Triathlon which is 0.9 mile swim, 24.9 mile bike ride, and a 6.2 mile run!  I know this is going to be super tough, but I see absolutely no reason I would not be able to achieve this goal (except for getting pregnant)  As you all know...I train to finish and to compete against no one but myself, so the fact that it will probably take me 3 times as long as others means ABSOLUTELY NOTHING to me!  Now my next goal is a HUGE goal and if I don't begin my training today...there is NO WAY it will even be possible!  It is the Half Iron man Triathlon, 1.2 mile swim, 55.9 mile bike ride, and 13 mile run!  Now this one is 18 weeks away and it would be super tough, and honestly I think I would probably not finish in enough time to even have a time (I would be disqualified), but again to me....I don't care...as long as I finish!  So anyways those are my goals for getting back on track with my weight loss and getting back on the work out train!  I am so super pumped about all of this and am so excited!  I truly believe anything is possible....you just have to work for it!  Love you all so much and as always thank you so much for your help and encouragement with my weight loss!

Side view before final weigh in!

Steppin on the scale one last time!

Last weigh in until the next biggest loser!

haha....just finished my final weigh in!

FINAL WEIGH IN!

Well it has been a long 11 weeks, but I am so excited to share with you the final results in my FIRST step towards my body transformation!  I have decided to call it that now instead of weight loss because that is what I want to do....transform my body to something I truly NEVER thought was a possibility!  So as you might know from reading my posts on FB or from my past blogs, yesterday was my final weigh in for the OKC Biggest Loser contest... it was an 11 week contest which began March 3rd and ended yesterday May 19th!  I began the contest one week late on March 10th, but had began blogging again and ready to lose weight March 3rd, but did not start the contest till the following week(I didn't know about it)  But my final results were from March 10th till May 19th....10 weeks I lost 32.8 pounds...and since March 3rd I have lost a total of 36.8 pounds.....which takes me to 53.2 pounds away from my goal weight, and from March 13th -May 18th I have lost a total of 29 inches and gone from a size 20 to now I am currently in a 14, but only a week or 2 away from a comfortable size 12!  I am here to tell you it is possible to get to where you want to be with your weight loss guys!  I HAVE NOT been close to this size since high school and beginning of college!  Seriously I CAN NOT BELIEVE THIS!  In high school... when I think I looked pretty good weight wise(of coarse still thought I was fat)  I was a size 10 or 12...and that was weighing I think about 160 pounds...so I feel so close!  I can't even begin to tell you how UNREAL I feel...I truly believe anything is possible!  I always looked at my horrible love handles, my stomach....and my HHHHHOOOOORRRRRIIIIIBBBLLLLLEEEE arms and always thought...ok when I lose weight these will look better, but I will obviously have to get some kind of plastic surgery to ever make them look decent!  Totally NOT TRUE!   I have seen people from blogs, people that helped with the biggest loser, and many youtube videos of people that don't need any of that, that were quite a bit bigger than I was!  My goal has never been to get in a bikini in the summer, or be able to run in shorts and a sports bra...mainly because I just thought it was not even a possibility, but now I KNOW I will soon do both!  I just simply wanted to be a smaller size and comfortable in my clothes and my own skin again!  But now I BELIEVE IN MYSELF and that I can get there!  A tummy tuck does not have to be the answer...YOU are the answer...you have to get up and work for it!  It's not going to get there by doing nothing...I have learned you can not lose weight by just wanting to lose weight...you actually have to eat healthy and work out!  Fad diets are not the answer!  I am so pumped because tomorrow I start a new work out plan!  I am going to do the Jamie Eason 3 phase live fit trainer!  It is going to help me continue to eat healthy, build muscle, and continue losing weight!  Last night after my final weigh in we had people over to to kind of celebrate, and for an excuse to have a party...anyways Jonathan and I decided we were not going to drink, but I had decided I would let myself eat a hot dog, some chips, and just kind of munch of the food that we had during the party....guys....I DON'T WANT TO ANYMORE!  I feel like there is something seriously wrong with me...haha  ME Brittany Cramer...queen of disgustingly bad for you food!  I ate 2 bites of a hot dog and threw it away...maybe a handful of chips...like seriously there is NOTHING in me that wants to eat unhealthy or at that ever drink alcohol that much again!  I mean we rarely drink anyways, but at a fun party like last night we always would!    I  again just want to thank every single one of you for reading my blog or fb statuses, commented on a photo or post, or even just liking something I post....I promise you .....that IS what has gotten me to where I am right now!  Thank you guys all again so much for your love and support...I still have a bit to go, but I know I am going to get there....thank you all again!  This pic is My first weigh in March 10th and before my final weigh in May 19th!

Only 2 more weeks for BIGGEST LOSER!

Hello wonderful blog!  I have not been keeping up as much as I wish I was, but I have been busy with school etc., but after this week the semester is over(THANK GOODNESS!)  Well this past week was such a great week!  First of all, last Sunday the 29th I completed my first FULL MARATHON!  WOO HOO!  It was AMAZING!  I crossed the finish line at 6 hours and 31 minutes...yes I said 6 hours and 31 minutes....I ran every single step of it as well!  Obviously I'm not a fast runner....but my goal was to simply finish...and run the entire time!  It was truly the hardest thing I have ever done in my entire life (maybe giving birth naturally was a little tougher), but crazy hard!  I just still can't believe I actually did it!  Well actually I can, bc I worked very hard for 6 months for it!  Thank goodness 4 months into my training I got my mind right and decided it was time to start eating healthy as well so I can lose some LBS!  This past weigh in on the 5th went really well!  I had been pretty stressed out the last couple week because I was clearly at a Plateau, which is not fun!  I was sticking at 194lbs for a good 3 weeks!  I wasn't gaining any at all, but was getting so frustrated because no more was coming off!  I knew at some point I would hit a plateau...I just was hoping it was after the Biggest Loser!  But after some change up and lots of hard work this week I lost 5 pounds putting me at 189 pounds!  OMG....I can not believe I weigh 189 pounds!  I know I still have a long way to go, but I have not been this low since before I was pregnant with Madi Rae, and honestly....long before I was pregnant with her!  Until I think it was 2 weeks ago I had been in 2nd place in the biggest loser competition the entire time...and only losing by a small percentage, but now after my 3 week plateau I think I am in 5th or 6th...and you know what....THAT'S OK!  Saturday was the first morning I woke up realized I weighed 31 pounds less than I did barely 2 months ago...and I decided I was already winning...and at that...The Biggest Loser Winner!  I know it's super corny, but seriously I truly never thought I would actually be at this point!  31 pounds lighter?  I truly believe I can still win the competition, but really either way it makes no difference to me!  Of coarse a cruise with my handsome husband would be amazing and is MUCH NEEDED, but man I am on my road to my goal!  Better yet...Jonathan and I have decided when I hit 160 we are going to start trying for another little Cramer!  I told him I just want to know that I am comfortably with my eating and working out and know I will continue it throughout the pregnancy!  I CAN'T WAIT!  On that exciting note of bringing another baby our family I am going to say Goodnight and LOVE you all and am so thankful for you ALL!

It's been a while!

Hello there everyone...wow it has been a long time and I am so sorry!  It's not because I have  quit on myself or stopped anything, my life has just been so busy and it is finally somewhat slowing down!  2 weeks ago at my weigh in I lost I think it was 1.6 pounds so I weighed in at 194 pounds!  I can't believe it!  That is a 22.8 pound weight loss for Biggest Loser and a 26.8 total pounds loss since the week before I began biggest loser!  I seriously can't believe I am so close to the 80's!  It is so crazy!  But last week at my weigh in...I have to be honest I gained point 8 pounds!  I know it's nothing crazy it's just very frusturating working as hard as I am and not losing...and at that gaining a little bit!  I feel like I am at a stand still right now and I don't understand why!  I have changed up my eating this week, but still have not seen a huge change in the scale yet.  I know I will soon though.  But the most exciting news is that the marathon is this Sunday!  WOO HOO!  I can't believe it is so close....all this training and it is finally here!  I feel confident other than the fact that last Wednesday I was in my salon and hit my toe on this board and broke it or did something to it:(  I can walk ok on it kind of, but it hurts, so Jonathan said I should wear this boot just to be safe until the marathon!  I feel like an idiot wearing it just for my toe, but I wuld be sick If I started the run and was unable to finish!  But just needs some prayers that it heals before then!  Well guys hoping for a god weight loss on Saturday along with an amazing run on Sunday~  Everyone should come out to the marathon on Sunday...it's such a fun experience and it might even get you pumped to start running if you already don't!  Super proud of my sister Lindsey for running the 2nd leg of the marathon(5k)  she has recently started running and she is doing awesome!  SO PROUD OF YOU MY BEAUTIFUL SISTER!  GOOD LUCK!  As always thank you all so much for all your support...can't wait to blog after the marathon to let you know how it went!

Progress pics from Biggest Loser!

Weigh In 1 216.8 pounds

Weigh In 2 205.4 pounds! Weekly Winner!

Weigh In 3 203.6 pounds

 Weigh In 4 196 pounds! Weekly Winner~!

April 7th Biggest Loser weigh in!

Well....this past was such an awesome week for me!  I knew what I wanted out of the week, so I went out and got it!  First of all I knew I needed to do a 20 mile run sometime last week because it was that time in my training!  I was pretty nervous considering I had not run in almost a month due to not being able to breath, but I felt GREAT!  I planned my run for Thursday...woke up started it around 6:50 a.m. and ran the entire 20 miles!  It took me 4 hours and 40 minutes!  I was so excited because I expected it to take me at least 5 hours, but I truly believe I ran so well because of the weight I have loss and the muscle I have built.  Less than 3 weeks till the marathon!  I am so pumped and can not believe it is almost finally here!  After 5 and a half months of training!  I was pretty emotional at the end of my run bc I couldn't believe I had actaully done it, and because in my life I have made goals and met them, but none ever this big and one that seemed so extreme to me.  But that brings me to my weight loss for this week, which I feel is another extreme goal that I am actually going to get to! At the last biggest loser weigh in I weighed 203 .6 pounds!  This week I weighed in at 196 pounds!!!!   AAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH....I DID IT....I am under 200 pounds!  I have not been here in almost 3 years!  I am now pre Molly Mae weight and right around my wedding day weight!  You know all those clothes I have been able to recently fit in that have been hanging in my closet for a while now?  Well they are getting to big!  On top of being under 200 pounds....I won the highest percentage most this week again in the contest!  I am just so excited and keep having to pinch myself because I don't believe this is me doing this!  I am living this new awesome life style and couldn't be more excited!  Also,  I am excited to announce that I will once again be at home with my babies!  As much as I love my job in the NICU at Mercy, it is just way to much for my family and I, with me in full time school, all my clients, and trying to get my health on track, my husband and I thought this would be best!  I'm still going to school to become a nurse, I'm just taking it a little slower like we had originally planned!   Thank you all for all your support and kind words of encouragement!  Ya'll are awesome!

Amazing new life!

Hey guys...hope all is going well with all of yall! I feel like it has been forever since I posted since we had no weigh in on saturday...but don't kid yourself....there sure is one this saturday and I'm so excited! I know it is going to be a pretty awesome one as well! How do i know that you ask? Well that's because for the first time in two and a half almost 3 years I weigh under 200 pounds! WOO HOO....I CAN'T BELIEVE IT! such a huge milestone I hit! Now I seriously I feel like it is all possible! This picture I attached is of every single winter item of clothing I have...every single item of clothing is not just big...but pretty huge on me...i am getting rid of it all!  This is so crazy to me...I'm actually doing it guys...i seriously can not believe I am under 200 pounds! This has been a great week so far and I am so pumped for the rest of it....on thursday I have a 20 mile run I have to do and I'm so ready for it! My breathing seems to be back to normal...so if worse comes to worse I'll walk it! Oh and I have gone from 42 inches in my waist to 38 as of today! And lost other inches as well! Thank you all as always for your amazing support! Love you all!

ABSOLUTELY NO EXCUSE!

There is no reason I should EVER be over weight again our no be able to lose all my weight! I just bought the ziploc zip and steam bags and tons of fresh veggies...asparagus(my favorite), broccoli,brussel sprouts, and corn....and got lots of salmon and chicken and I'm going to pre package them all in the zip and steam bags and take them to work! Oh my goodness are you kidding me? No cooking involved...just a little microwave steam! Listen guys...through away all of your can veggies and go get fresh one....look st the 380 mg of sodium in the canned green beans...and fresh ones have 7mg...seriously..CRAZY! Stop eating the processed crap and get the real deal! So excited! Love you all!

This is healthy?

I just made lots of fruit kabobs to put in bags and take as a little snack at work...and of my goodness to me it looks like a cheat meal it is so delicious....i can't believe something this delicious and amazing is healthy...thanks bodybuilding.com...and JNL!

2 a.m. workout!

1 mile run...24 flights of stairs...75 squats, jumping jacks, and high knees....WOOOOOO feeling GREAT!

Biggest loser weigh in 3 and week number 4!

Hello there friends! Well it seems like it has been a while...but I'm here to post about this past weeks weigh in! It went really well ...i was hoping for a little higher number, but in no way an disappointed! So the week before last I weighed in at 205.4 pounds...and saturday I weighed st an even 203lbs! WOO HOO!  I am very satisfied and excited about my number! I know it could be because I had a great number the week before, but my whole goal each week is at least NO GAIN!  We do not have a weigh in this saturday which I was really bummed about, but that just gives me an extra week to get a great number for the next weigh in!  I have been stressing a little but lately about my running...the marathon is a month away and I have not ben able to run much at all lately due to all the sudden not being able to breath:( I set out for an 18 mile ruin last week and only ran 2 and walked 8 more!  I have gone to the doctor and he gave me an inhaler, but it has not helped at all.  I have decided at the least I will walk it! Its kind of a huge bummer considering I have been training for 5 months now, but right now the most important thing is me getting healthy...and if I walk the while thing instead of run...so be it...its better than not doing it at all! Anyways I am so pumped about my weight loss....i am down 2 full sizes and 5 pounds away from pre molly mae weight and only 8 pounds away from my wedding weight (still very over weight, but still exciting milestones) I'm not gonna lie...when I hit my wedding weight in putting on my wedding dresses and taking a pic in it!haha...i know in weird but oh well! Well as always I love you all and am so greatful for your support!

Size large!

So I can't believe what just happened!  I just went shopping for a dress because one out my closets friends trisha (love you pretty) we are celebrating her birthday Saturday night.  Well I have no clothes that fit so I thought I would hed to the mall.  Idecided to go to dillards first because I have not fit in anything but plus size there in alllllooooonnnngggg time...but I just thought I would look.  Not only did I find a dress...but it was a large!  I know that is still a big size and all, but going from not fitting in anything there...to skipping the xl and getting a large is huge for me!  Also I went to old navy alot because they carried xxl and 18's and 20's... Those were the sizes I wore there.  I now have bought size large and 16's there! I just can't believe this! Even though I have so much more to go I feel better than I have in years! Thank you all for your support!

Side view..

My cute little rugrats snuck in...

Day 8 of insanity...week 2 of biggest loser

2ND Oklahoma BIGGEST LOSER weigh in...YOU WON'T BELIEVE IT!

I have been so excited to write this post since I weighed in at noon...so I could share with you all my great success of the week!  So remember last Saturday I weighed in at 216.8 lbs and the Saturday before (March 3rd) I weighed in at 220.8 lbs well my official weigh in today was 205.4 lbs...OMG that is 11.4 lbs THIS WEEK and 15.4 since March 3rd!  I can't believe...I have worked so hard for all those pounds!  To make things even better...This week I lost 5.3% of my body weight...which means I won the most lost this week by 1.2%!   AAAAAAHHHHHHHH.....I can't believe I am doing this....I can't believe this time I am actually getting to where I want to be.  I have eaten so clean this week and really stayed focused on working out...and my eating!  I know I have said this before, but I really would LOVE to win 1st place and get the cruise and all, but say I didn't I would still be so proud of myself for as hard as I'm working and going to continue to work!  I have big plans guys....and it's not going to stop with getting to my goal!  I am so thankful for all of your help and encouragement...I LOVE IT it's what keeps me going!  I am about to finish my first week of insanity....it is crazy...and the boot camp I do after the weigh in is like no other I have EVER DONE...and I think I have done 3....none were worth the money, but this one DEFINITELY is!  I love you all and am so excited and motivated for my weigh in next week!  WOOOOOOOOO HOOOOOO!

Theres always temptations!

Life is full of temptations....you just have to learn how to say no! Which is what I did last night when all this food was at work!  Honestly...it want even that hard!

Another wonderful day!

Well guys...I am now on day 13 since I last started blogging...but day 4 for the biggest loser...and let me just tell you...life is AMAZING! I get so mad at myself for all my old horrible eating habits...like I never felt good..the food wasn't even that great, but now oh my goodness I feel so alive (i now it sounds dorky..but seriously) my energy level it's at an all time high. Working out and eating right is not an option anymore...it's a for sure thing. No more excuses like I don't have time...i don't have much time the days I work...but I make it happen anyways!  I feel like anything is possible...like there is absolutely no way I won't get to my goal!  I can't wait for my weigh in on saturday...bc I'm positive it's going to be a big number!  I started insanity yesterday..so today is day 2 and oh my goodness it is so hard...but there is absolutely no possible way I am not doing it everyday I'm suppose to for 60 days! Why not? Well guys as always thank you so much for all your support...i love you all so much and your help and support is what is making this happen!

First weigh in for oklahoma biggest loser!

First OFFICIAL Biggest Loser weigh in!

So today was the day...and I was so nervous!  It was my first official weigh in for Oklahoma Biggest loser!  It was so exciting and I am so happy I was able to enter the competition!  I am a week behind everyone, but that means nothing to me!  I am not STOPPING!  My official weigh in was 216.8!  I truly believe I am going to win! I am so determined!  There is also a boot camp right after that I payed extra to do every Saturday after the weigh in!  It was pretty hardcore!  When I got home I went and walked a mile, sprinted a soccer field then would do 10 burpees!  I repeated this 5 times....it hurt!  When I got home I did the shake weight...YES...the shake weight for the 6 minutes it says to do it for!  That thing is pretty hardcore.  I truly am treating this as if I just got kicked off the ranch and am trying to win the at home prize!  I believe I can win....and of coarse I want to win the cruise.....but man I just want to win to win....to be healthy....to change my life for the better!  While I was doing the boot camp which is at the Oklahoma Science Museum, which is where the weigh ins are held....Jonathan and the girls played and walked around!  After we got in the car I just started crying....I told Jonathan I know this is it!  I have never had this feeling before....this time I AM DOING IT!  I am going to lose my weight and get healthy!  It's not like the first time I started my blog....THIS IS IT!  This is the day I take my life back!  When I was at the boot camp I wanted to just keep pushing and pushing myself....and that is what I did!  If we were hold or doing a certain exercise for 30 seconds....I just kept telling myself it's 30 seconds....that's NOTHING!  People probably think I am crazy because I breath pretty loud and sometimes I grunt (yeah I know embarrassing) but I can't help it.....I'M PUSHING MYSELF!  I am so thankful and excited for this opportunity and all of your support!  Please stick with me through this....all my official weigh ins are going to be the ones on Saturdays at the biggest loser thing!  The final weigh in is May 19th and I want tons of people to come!  I am confident I will do great!  Thank you all again for your support!  LOVE YOU!

Oklahoma's Biggest Loser!

SO....I am so proud to say....that I just officially registered for Oklahoma's Biggest Loser challenge!  I CAN'T BELIEVE IT!  Jonathan and I were on fb late last night watching the KONY2012 video(if you have not watched it please do...we bought out kit last night) and on his news feed there was a link the Oklahoma biggest loser page....onehealthybodbiggestloser.com/contest!  Anyways we got on and looked at the info.  Last week was the first official weight (which I missed), but that isn't going to stop me.  I called the phone number this morning to make sure I could still register and he said I could!  I am so pumped!  The final weigh in is May 19th and the 1st place winner receives a Royal Caribbean Cruise , $500, and a bunch of other awesome prizes!  You guys...I could totally win this!  I don't see any reason I can't!  Jonathan and I already have a schedule for me worked out so that I can go hard!  I'm looking at it this way....this is as close to the biggest loser I will ever get!  The prize will be amazing, but not as amazing as the beginning to my weight loss!  I obviously don't intend on losing 100 pounds in the next 2 and half months, but it will be an amazing kick start to my weight loss!  Every Saturday at noon are the weight ins...at the Oklahoma Science museum.  You where a sports bra and shorts and from the looks of it you weigh on a stage and they take a picture of you!  I know I can do this and I know I can win!  I am going to treat this as if I was on the actual Biggest Loser TV show!  So here is what I need from all of you....SUPPORT...WORDS OF ENGORGEMENT, and as much advice, tips, and ideas as you can give me!  Thank you all for your support!  Love you guys!

March 6th

I just want to be honest!

So I was talking to my friend Denise tonight and we were just talking about food...and she asked me what was the thing I struggle with most about food? I just laid it all out there and I thought I would share it with all of you! It's not a pretty sight...and it's actually humiliating...but it's the reasons I have gotten to be so overweight! My friend trisha wrote me some helpful info...to just not keep anything bad in the house...well we don't! My husband is a healthy eater and it's hard fire him to say no to things...so we just dont even by them. So that is why I think my husband always wondered how I could not be losing weight bc from what he saw and what I told him I was always eating pretty healthy! Well I wasn't! All I did was secretly eat! If I ate breakfast with the girls...maybe a bowl of cereal...no matter what... if I was hungry or not when we got in the car after I dropped them off at school I would go through a fast food place...not only get a breakfast sandwich, but a meal.  I would eat fast food sometimes 2 or 3 times a day! I dont know why I did...i just did! Even if we had just spent $300 on groceries I would still go get something horrible for me....and I always felt sick from it! I never really even enjoyed it! I might stop by seven eleven and get 2 different types of candy bars....and eat them both! I dont know why either...i just did it! I know it sounds disgusting but it's the reason I got to the point I am at now! I dont want to be here anymore and never again! I always told myself...i will never allow myself to get the big...and if I do I will do something about it! Well I'm here...and if I dont change now in 6 months I'm not going to weigh 220 anymore...i will weigh 240! I dont want that! I'm just taking it one day at a time.  I an on day number 3 and I know this is a long process, but I'm in it for the long haul! Thank you all!

My yummy snack at work!

Daily pics starting today!

A new day!

Well it's day #2 of my new journey and let me say......I FEEL AMAZING!  I just don't understand why I do this to myself?  Eating healthy makes you feel so clean and wonderful!  You have so much more energy and you don't have to feel guilty about it!  Jonathan and I get the Runners World magazine every month and the one we just received is about weight loss...and in it I read an article on how a guy lost his 100+ pounds.  Pretty much he just said every meal he had he tried to make it 50/50...50% whatever and 50% vegetables.  Then for snack he always had a fruit with something...maybe string cheese and an apple or even yogurt and some berries!  That is what I have been trying to do today!  I am anxious to see how tonight goes because I have to work 7p.m. to 7 a.m. and I always get confused on my eating.  I think I am going to try and eat around 8 when I get there...then a  few small snacks throughout the night..unless anyone else has an idea of how I should do it?  Thank you all as usual for all your support...of and by the way I weighed in yesterday (I am going to do them on camera like I use to I just forgot) and my official starting weight is 220.8 pounds!  You want to know why I am ok with that?  Because that is the last time I will EVER see that number....and I'm serious this time!  Love you all and hope you have a wonderful Sunday enjoying this beautiful weather!

They made my day!

I was crying so I look a little weird! Such an AMAZING day!

Inspiration!

So I can't even believe what happened to me today!  Well as you all know I am happily starting up my blog again and btw thank you for all your support, but Jonathan and I had a the deer creek classic 10k this morning!  Right after I finished we went and got water and I looked up and about 10 feet in front of me was Dan and Don Evans from THE BIGGEST LOSER!  I asked Emerald if she could take a picture for me so I walked over to them and just started crying (btw they look UNREAL) I felt like I was seeing something I could be and 2 people that I feel have struggled with the same thing I do!  They were so kind and helpful and were so sincere to me bc they have been where I am today!  They said to friend Dan on fb so they could watch my progress!  I talked to Don a little bit more...He told me the one thing he regretted was letting 20 years go by without doing anything about his weight.  That's what I don't want to happen...that's why I HAVE TO CHANGE NOW!  I let them know about my blog and about my struggles I have had...I started crying again and told them that this is exactly what I needed today...and that they are truly huge inspirations to me!  I feel so blessed to have met them...and call me crazy but I believe it's a sign that this is going to happen this time.  I just have to win my biggest battle....BAD FOOD!  I WILL DO THIS I WILL DO THIS I WILL DO THIS!

I need you all!

So it's 3:34 a.m. and I woke up and I can't handle it anymore!  I am back at my exact weight I started at over a year ago and I am more unhappy now than I was then.  You know I think about starting to blog and then just decide against it, I don't know why at all...I just do.  NOT ANYMORE!  This was how I lost my weight last year, but something clicked off 3 months in and I stopped and I'm not going to lie...I hate myself for that!  I was so excited and determined!  What happen to me?  Please EVERYONE if you once believed in me try to again
because I need you encouragement and help now more than ever.  I am at rock bottom with my weight again and don't want to be here now or ever AGAIN!  I ran 16 miles last Sunday...yes 16...what is wrong with my brain?  All running is is mind over matter!  How can I run 16 miles running 220 pounds plus and not want to eat right?  I always tell Jonathan I don't understand how people get addicted to things bc I just don't have an addicted personality!  AM I KIDDING I am obviously addicted to food!  I feel I have EVERYTHING I have every wanted in life and so much more, except my health...but my health is one of the VERY MOST IMPORTANT THINGS!  Please help me through this process everyone!  All your kind words of encouragement and helpful tips and ideas is what got me through it last year...well I need it again everyone!  PLEASE believe in me and help me through this!  I don't think I am strong enough without the help!  I need exercise Ideas...I need to tone and build my strength!  If you ever believed in me before and followed me before...please do again!  I'm not going to let you or myself down!  I am going to do an official weigh in tomorrow morning...and NO MORE EXCUSES!  I love you all so much and am so thankful for EVERY SINGLE one of you and all your help!