They made my day!

I was crying so I look a little weird! Such an AMAZING day!

Inspiration!

So I can't even believe what happened to me today!  Well as you all know I am happily starting up my blog again and btw thank you for all your support, but Jonathan and I had a the deer creek classic 10k this morning!  Right after I finished we went and got water and I looked up and about 10 feet in front of me was Dan and Don Evans from THE BIGGEST LOSER!  I asked Emerald if she could take a picture for me so I walked over to them and just started crying (btw they look UNREAL) I felt like I was seeing something I could be and 2 people that I feel have struggled with the same thing I do!  They were so kind and helpful and were so sincere to me bc they have been where I am today!  They said to friend Dan on fb so they could watch my progress!  I talked to Don a little bit more...He told me the one thing he regretted was letting 20 years go by without doing anything about his weight.  That's what I don't want to happen...that's why I HAVE TO CHANGE NOW!  I let them know about my blog and about my struggles I have had...I started crying again and told them that this is exactly what I needed today...and that they are truly huge inspirations to me!  I feel so blessed to have met them...and call me crazy but I believe it's a sign that this is going to happen this time.  I just have to win my biggest battle....BAD FOOD!  I WILL DO THIS I WILL DO THIS I WILL DO THIS!

I need you all!

So it's 3:34 a.m. and I woke up and I can't handle it anymore!  I am back at my exact weight I started at over a year ago and I am more unhappy now than I was then.  You know I think about starting to blog and then just decide against it, I don't know why at all...I just do.  NOT ANYMORE!  This was how I lost my weight last year, but something clicked off 3 months in and I stopped and I'm not going to lie...I hate myself for that!  I was so excited and determined!  What happen to me?  Please EVERYONE if you once believed in me try to again
because I need you encouragement and help now more than ever.  I am at rock bottom with my weight again and don't want to be here now or ever AGAIN!  I ran 16 miles last Sunday...yes 16...what is wrong with my brain?  All running is is mind over matter!  How can I run 16 miles running 220 pounds plus and not want to eat right?  I always tell Jonathan I don't understand how people get addicted to things bc I just don't have an addicted personality!  AM I KIDDING I am obviously addicted to food!  I feel I have EVERYTHING I have every wanted in life and so much more, except my health...but my health is one of the VERY MOST IMPORTANT THINGS!  Please help me through this process everyone!  All your kind words of encouragement and helpful tips and ideas is what got me through it last year...well I need it again everyone!  PLEASE believe in me and help me through this!  I don't think I am strong enough without the help!  I need exercise Ideas...I need to tone and build my strength!  If you ever believed in me before and followed me before...please do again!  I'm not going to let you or myself down!  I am going to do an official weigh in tomorrow morning...and NO MORE EXCUSES!  I love you all so much and am so thankful for EVERY SINGLE one of you and all your help!

This will happen

Side view

I'm back

And.....I'M BACK!

Well the day has finally come!  I'M BACK....and for good this time!  I have thought about my blog every single day for the last 4 months!  Just like I have also struggled with my weight the last 4 months!  But I am going to do things a little different this time.  Well mostly the same, but last I "changed my life"  I really didn't, but this time I am going to change my life forever!  I am not stopping till I am at a happy comfortable weight.  If that weight is 115 pounds, or if it is at 170 pounds!  I am going to lose weight and feel great!  Another thing I am going to do different is not deprive myself of things.  When I first started my blog I remember I did not allow myself anything that was even remotely bad for me...like a piece of birthday cake...or a diet coke!   I have come to figure out that if I do deprive myself...eventually one day (around May last year)  I will just start eating them and not even within reason...like the whole piece of cake...or 2 and then diet coke replaces my water for the day!  Obviously that is not a good thing...hence the way I ended up off track!  I feel as if I allow myself a diet coke here and there (maybe one a day or every couple days) or if it's a special birthday and everyone is eating cake and I feel I can have a slice....then I'm going to do it!  My friend Lara Veazey (good friend and client) who is a nutrition specialist or something awesome like that told me....even though I said I was not dieting I was just changing my lifestyle....I was allowing myself nothing!  She said if I was some ice cream to go get a small portion of ice cream etc.  So that is how I'm going to do it!  So now onto the next part....my starting weight!  Well lets just say....it really isn't to bad, but I have gained about 10 pounds back :( I have done nothing for my weight these last few months:(  I had torn up my shoulder in April and it got so bad this summer I could barley do anything...then I finally had surgery on it six weeks ago and have not been able to do ANYTHING with it!  Even though I still should have been eating better...when I work out it just makes me feel that much better.... but here in about 45 minutes I will be hitting up the gym for the first time in a while!  Anyways my starting weight is 212.0!  Obviously not a good weight, but I am on my way:)   Well...I'm so excited about my journey beginning once again!  I'm on board and ready to go!  WWWWWOOOOOO HOOOOOOOO!!!