Daily pics starting today!

A new day!

Well it's day #2 of my new journey and let me say......I FEEL AMAZING!  I just don't understand why I do this to myself?  Eating healthy makes you feel so clean and wonderful!  You have so much more energy and you don't have to feel guilty about it!  Jonathan and I get the Runners World magazine every month and the one we just received is about weight loss...and in it I read an article on how a guy lost his 100+ pounds.  Pretty much he just said every meal he had he tried to make it 50/50...50% whatever and 50% vegetables.  Then for snack he always had a fruit with something...maybe string cheese and an apple or even yogurt and some berries!  That is what I have been trying to do today!  I am anxious to see how tonight goes because I have to work 7p.m. to 7 a.m. and I always get confused on my eating.  I think I am going to try and eat around 8 when I get there...then a  few small snacks throughout the night..unless anyone else has an idea of how I should do it?  Thank you all as usual for all your support...of and by the way I weighed in yesterday (I am going to do them on camera like I use to I just forgot) and my official starting weight is 220.8 pounds!  You want to know why I am ok with that?  Because that is the last time I will EVER see that number....and I'm serious this time!  Love you all and hope you have a wonderful Sunday enjoying this beautiful weather!

They made my day!

I was crying so I look a little weird! Such an AMAZING day!

Inspiration!

So I can't even believe what happened to me today!  Well as you all know I am happily starting up my blog again and btw thank you for all your support, but Jonathan and I had a the deer creek classic 10k this morning!  Right after I finished we went and got water and I looked up and about 10 feet in front of me was Dan and Don Evans from THE BIGGEST LOSER!  I asked Emerald if she could take a picture for me so I walked over to them and just started crying (btw they look UNREAL) I felt like I was seeing something I could be and 2 people that I feel have struggled with the same thing I do!  They were so kind and helpful and were so sincere to me bc they have been where I am today!  They said to friend Dan on fb so they could watch my progress!  I talked to Don a little bit more...He told me the one thing he regretted was letting 20 years go by without doing anything about his weight.  That's what I don't want to happen...that's why I HAVE TO CHANGE NOW!  I let them know about my blog and about my struggles I have had...I started crying again and told them that this is exactly what I needed today...and that they are truly huge inspirations to me!  I feel so blessed to have met them...and call me crazy but I believe it's a sign that this is going to happen this time.  I just have to win my biggest battle....BAD FOOD!  I WILL DO THIS I WILL DO THIS I WILL DO THIS!

I need you all!

So it's 3:34 a.m. and I woke up and I can't handle it anymore!  I am back at my exact weight I started at over a year ago and I am more unhappy now than I was then.  You know I think about starting to blog and then just decide against it, I don't know why at all...I just do.  NOT ANYMORE!  This was how I lost my weight last year, but something clicked off 3 months in and I stopped and I'm not going to lie...I hate myself for that!  I was so excited and determined!  What happen to me?  Please EVERYONE if you once believed in me try to again
because I need you encouragement and help now more than ever.  I am at rock bottom with my weight again and don't want to be here now or ever AGAIN!  I ran 16 miles last Sunday...yes 16...what is wrong with my brain?  All running is is mind over matter!  How can I run 16 miles running 220 pounds plus and not want to eat right?  I always tell Jonathan I don't understand how people get addicted to things bc I just don't have an addicted personality!  AM I KIDDING I am obviously addicted to food!  I feel I have EVERYTHING I have every wanted in life and so much more, except my health...but my health is one of the VERY MOST IMPORTANT THINGS!  Please help me through this process everyone!  All your kind words of encouragement and helpful tips and ideas is what got me through it last year...well I need it again everyone!  PLEASE believe in me and help me through this!  I don't think I am strong enough without the help!  I need exercise Ideas...I need to tone and build my strength!  If you ever believed in me before and followed me before...please do again!  I'm not going to let you or myself down!  I am going to do an official weigh in tomorrow morning...and NO MORE EXCUSES!  I love you all so much and am so thankful for EVERY SINGLE one of you and all your help!

This will happen

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